Recently in an act of pure self-centeredness and self-indulgence, our cruel master decided he was too good to drink unfiltered water from his refrigerator spigot. He rushed down to the store and returned with a water filter to attach to the ice maker (and water dispenser) inlet. It soon became evident that installing the [...]
The garbage disposer in our master’s kitchen has been making horrible scraping noises when he grinds up chicken bones and other hard material, so he took a look inside and noticed that it was time for a new disposer. (The evidence will be in a future post.) So he ran down to Home Depot (without [...]
A package from way up North arrived today from some of our benefactors who feel sorry for us and the treatment we suffer at the hands of our cruel master. Our master knew that the package was for us, so he put it on the ground to tantalize us. He knows it would take hours [...]
Awhile back, Bear had some problems delivering his processed dog food, so our master decided that the problem was that the food he gives us was too dry. So, ever since then, he has been putting a little water in the bowl before he pours in the dry kibbles. He mixes it up to moisten [...]
Our master doesn’t let us run freely in the streets and into neighbors’ houses, so our education is limited. Maybe you can help us understand some of the things that confuse us.
For example, our master is VERY thrifty [Wolf means cheap--Bear], and he shops a the dollar stores a lot. He recently got some shaving [...]
Okay, yes, it’s true that when we do something good, such as going potty, coming into the house on command, or killing a spider, we are rewarded with cookies.
But we thought that when our master the first time asked, “Do you want a cookie?” he meant a cookie. But humans are very deceptive. Our master [...]
If anyone out there with some good dog food is reading this, please send it over to us. Our master has us on Weight Loss dog food because he thinks we are too fat.
And when he serves it (two skimpy feedings a day), he makes us sit patiently for what seems to be hours before he says, “Okay,” and [...]
Do you think our master bit the delivery man in the leg or snarled at the man whose house was invaded by a raccoon? Not a bit of it, as the British say.
In fact, our master walks around openly telling even people he has just met that he has “point nine” of a dog.
He explains [...]
What Bear says is true. But the attacks don’t stop there. Our master reported a story he heard at Thanksgiving dinner awhile back. After the turkey and dressing and mashed potatoes (with lots of gravy–wish I’d been there to use my powers of begging), one of the guests told a story.
He said, “One evening we [...]
This is Bear. Wolf is still too humiliated to tell you this story. Our practice is to greet every caller at the door with a welcome but cautionary bark, so that no visitior will ever get the wrong idea and try something funny, if you know what I mean.
So anyway, one day a delivery man [...]
