Recently in an act of pure self-centeredness and self-indulgence, our cruel master decided he was too good to drink unfiltered water from his refrigerator spigot. He rushed down to the store and returned with a water filter to attach to the ice maker (and water dispenser) inlet. It soon became evident that installing the filter on the back of the refrigerator would be difficult and dangerous. So, not wanting to get his precious hands dirty or to take any risk to his hide, he forced his cute little doggies to install the filter.

As you can see from the photo, we are dangerously trapped between the back of the refrigerator and the kitchen wall. At any moment, we thought, the huge, merciless refrigerator could come rolling back and crush us. But that wasn’t all that scared us. Notice that we are surrounded by high voltage wires and high pressure water pipes and tubes and all manner of dangerousness. We didn’t know whether the shut off valve would burst and shoot water all over us or if we would slip on the resulting wet surface and break something.

We thought about refusing such a dangerous task, but our cruel master, in his sadistic way, promised us each a cookie if we put the filter in, so we were victimized by our hunger (being chronically underfed, as we have thoroughly documented in this blog), and by our doggie instincts, which our master exploits at every turn.

While our cruel master watched some mindless TV show, we labored until our paws were raw and our little backs ached, all the time working in the stark fear that at any moment we might be crushed, drowned, strangled, or electrocuted. However, we eventually got the filter installed, the 12-year-old water line replaced with a stainless steel reinforced hose, and everything tested. Only then did our master let us out from in back of that huge, terrifying threat.

Yes, we pride ourselves on being fearless attack dogs, but we know pointless danger when we see it. Okay, okay, we will calm down now. Breathe deeply and exhale. Relax. We’re safe now.