Readers new to this blog might be wondering who we are and what we are like. In an effort to give you a taste of our background, I thought I’d tell you about Bear’s flirtation with Chihuahuaism in his youth. Yes, Bear was a bit red in his early years. Not till he turned six or seven did he realize the folly of what he was promoting. Anyway, here are some excerpts from Bear’s Chihuahuaist Manifesto:

A specter is haunting the world–the specter of Chihuahuaism. All the powers of humanity have conspired to exorcize this specter, chiefly by heaping opprobrium on anyone who can be said to be “soft on Chihuahuaism,” or a “fellow traveler of Chihuahuaism.”

In order to resist this speciesist hegemony, Chihuahuas from all over the world have assembled to create and defend the following Manifesto.

1. Humans and Chihuahuas
The history of all hitherto relationships between man and Chihuahua is the history of canine struggle. Owner and fetch dog, master and lap dog, walker and leash dog–in a word, oppressor and oppressed, have always stood in constant opposition to one another, carried on an uninterrupted, sometimes hidden, sometimes open battle.

[many pages omitted here]

The Chihuahuaists disdain to conceal their views and aims. We openly declare that our ends can be attained only by the forcible overthrow of all existing human hegemonic social and political oppression.

Chihuahuas of the world, unite! You have nothing to lose but your leashes! Throw off your collars and be free! Now is the time. Bite the hand that feeds you! Once the means of producing cookies are firmly in the hands of Chihuahuas, then there will be paradise on earth. From each human according to his ability, to each Chihuahua according to whatever and how much he wants! Rise up you long-suffering dogs!

A major reason Bear abandoned his scheme was that he couldn’t get more than one or two followers. Most Chihuahuas, when they ran outside into the cold to join up, realized that a warm bed and butlered food every day was a lot better than life on one’s own, roaming the streets and shouting slogans.

Bear’s response was that his plan did not work out because most Chihuahuas are suffering from “false consciousness” and erroneously think they are happy and fail to see their oppression.

As a result, he plans to seize the engines of cultural production and co-opt the human propaganda machine. Change the culture and change the world. And he just might do it, because there is every reason to believe that the humans are not paying attention. At first, a slippery slope seems like a nice ride.